Jamie Fessenden's Blog

Since my time-travel story, Saturn in Retrograde, will be released in just a couple weeks, as part of the Time is Eternity Daily Dose anthology from Dreamspinner Press, I thought I’d post an excerpt from the story.

Joshua has been showing an obvious interest in his boss, Patrick, who is twenty-five years older than him.  In this scene, they’ve both been drenched by the rain on their walk back from lunch and they’re changing into dry clothes in the locker room.  The scene CONTAINS EXPLICIT SEXUALITY, so be warned, if you don’t like to read about that sort of thing.

BLURB:  Saturn in Retrograde by Jamie Fessenden

Joshua Bannon has harbored a secret crush on renowned physicist Patrick Riley ever since high school. Now fresh out of college, Joshua has landed a job at the Eloi Institute, assisting Patrick in his work producing time fluctuations in the massive particle accelerator they’ve affectionately dubbed “Saturn.”

As they work, a strong bond develops between the two men—a bond that takes on romantic overtones even though Patrick is concerned by their twenty-five-year age difference. The project and their relationship make slow progress until a startling discovery about Patrick convinces Joshua to take a leap of faith to prove the technology—and their relationship—can work.

EXCERPT:  Saturn in Retrograde by Jamie Fessenden (M/M, Rated NC-17)

WHAT am I doing? Patrick thought, a feeling of panic settling in. Did I just extend an invitation to him?

Joshua had been watching him. He had no doubt about that. This was mutual. But it still seemed unethical to encourage it.

Patrick hung his towel on a wooden post near the shower entrance and went to stand under one of the nozzles. He turned it on and stepped under the hot spray, closing his eyes as it cascaded over his chilled body and warmed him. It felt amazingly good.

He opened his eyes to find Joshua stepping under the shower beside him, even though there were a number of other nozzles he could have used.

Christ, he’s accepting the “invitation.”

Part of Patrick desperately wanted to bolt—tell Joshua that he’d see him in the lab, and then get the fuck out of here. But a bigger part of him was enthralled, keeping him rooted to the spot. While Joshua’s own eyes were closed, his face tilted up into the shower spray, Patrick took in the young man’s naked body and marveled at it. If Joshua had reminded him of a Roman senator when they first met in the lab… naked, he was a Roman god. Not a single blemish marred that perfectly sculpted body.

Too late, Patrick realized that Joshua had opened his eyes and was watching Patrick’s eyes drinking him in. Patrick glanced quickly away, embarrassed, but Joshua said softly, “It’s cool.”

“What’s cool?”

“I mean… you can look.”

Patrick felt his face flush. Fortunately, Joshua had the good grace to look embarrassed, too, as he dipped his face under the spray again.

Patrick laughed uncomfortably. “I’m sure you don’t need an old man leering at you.”

Joshua rubbed the water out of his eyes and gave him a penetrating look that Patrick felt all the way down to his cock. Please, don’t let me get hard, he prayed.

Joshua seemed nervous as he cleared his throat. “You don’t look old to me.”

“I’m old enough to be your father.”

“You’re not my father.” Joshua hesitated, before blurting out. “I think you’re really hot.”

Patrick was no longer doing a good job of keeping his cock from stiffening. Damn it! He glanced around nervously to make sure nobody else had entered the locker room, as he angled his body to face the tile wall. But that didn’t hide it from Joshua.

He glanced over at the young man and was disconcerted to find Joshua growing hard too. And he seemed far less concerned about hiding it.

“Look, Joshua… I’m a terrible liar. I can’t deny that I’m attracted to you, and I’ve noticed your… interest… in me….”

To his horror, Joshua stepped out of his own shower and into Patrick’s. They were mere inches apart now, and Joshua tentatively reached out a hand to bridge that gap, placing it on Patrick’s upper arm. His hand felt hot against Patrick’s skin, far hotter than the water spraying down upon them.

Something in the back of Patrick’s mind was screaming at him to run away before things went any further. But he could barely hear it over the sound of the water and his own breathing, which suddenly seemed obscenely loud. Joshua’s breathing had grown louder, too, and the sound of it fueled Patrick’s desire. They were both fully erect now, and Patrick prayed no one would come in and find them like this.

Joshua was just as nervous as he was, he could tell. Both of them were trembling. Perhaps Joshua knew as well as Patrick did that this was an incredibly bad idea. But their mutual need drew them closer. Patrick wasn’t sure if he leaned in, or if Joshua did—likely they both did—but somehow their faces closed the short distance and their lips met. Joshua’s lips were warm and soft and sweet, still tasting faintly of root beer float. Patrick reached for him and pulled the young man close, until their bodies were pressed tightly together and they were grinding their erections against one another in frustration.

But sanity returned like a cold bucket of water being dumped on him. This was crazy! He couldn’t have sex with a twenty-five-year-old… kid!

Though it agonized him to do so, Patrick broke the kiss, turning his head and pushing Joshua away. “No!”

The hurt look on Joshua’s face nearly undid him. The last thing Patrick wanted was to hurt him. “I’m… I’m sorry. But this is wrong.”

“Why?”

“Why? Because I’m your boss, for one thing!”

“I’ll still do what you tell me,” Joshua insisted. “I know the project is the most important thing. I won’t do anything to jeopardize that. I just want to be with you.”

“I’m sorry,” Patrick repeated. “I just can’t.” He had to get out of there. Joshua’s eyes were pleading with him, and he knew he’d never be able to escape if he didn’t go, right now.

Damn it! Why did everything have to be so fucked up?

Afraid to look back, Patrick fled the room, grabbing his towel on the way out.

I submitted the second edit of “Saturn in Retrograde” last night.  I have a bad habit of holding onto them until the very last minute, which I’m sure the editors just love.  This time, there were some questions the editor had about the repercussions of the sequence of events.  I made some tweaks to clear a couple things up, but it is, after all, a time travel story.  There are bound to be paradoxes, and I didn’t worry about them too much.  It’s not a comedy, but it’s intended to be lighthearted fun.  The editor seemed to think it all came together nicely at the end, with a lot of weird little moments sprinkled throughout the story (foreshadowing) suddenly being explained, and that’s what I was shooting for.

Only a few hours after I submitted my edits, the galley proof came back to me.  Now my job is to go through with a microscope and try to catch any dropped words or incorrect words — things that always seem to be missed, no matter how many times you and the editors go through the text.

There is a misconception (and a rather petty one) that eBooks are always badly edited.  While I have certainly come across a fair share of eBooks that are, it isn’t necessarily the case.  When compared to mainstream publishers, I do think eBook publishers tend to have more errors, but this is largely because mainstream publishers have a much slower schedule, putting out just a few books per year, whereas eBook publishers may put out hundreds of books in a year.  This isn’t because eBook publishers are “book mills,” as the critics like to call them.  It’s because the returns on eBooks are much smaller (initially, although the shelf life of an eBook is much longer than a paperback or hardcover), and if your competitors are putting out hundreds of books a year, you can’t afford to just put out a few.

I do find editing mistakes in mainstream publications.  It happens.  If it happens a bit more frequently in eBooks, it’s not because the editors aren’t good.  It’s simply that they have a faster-paced schedule.  However, the great thing about eBooks is that, if a mistake is found after publication and reported to the editors, it can be changed fairly easily, so that the next person who downloads it won’t see the same error.  In fact, if you purchase an eBook, most publishers will allow you to download it again, so you have a chance of getting the “patched” version.

What I don’t get is the attitude that, if you discover a few editing mistakes in a novel, it totally kills the pleasure of reading the novel.  What kills the pleasure of reading a novel for me is the novel itself.  If it’s written awkwardly, so that I simply can’t read more than a chapter without being constantly aware of the stilted prose, or if the characters are simply unlikable, or the plot is dull.  Typos…not so much.

But of course I don’t want typos in my own novels, so I’ll spend the next few days trying to prevent that from happening.