Category Archives: Sex

“Abducted” (from Gothika #5: Contact) is now available for pre-order!

gothika-contactThe newest Gothika anthology, subtitled Contact, features four stories of alien encounters by me (Jamie Fessenden), Kim Fielding, B.G. Thomas, and a new addition to the list of Gothika authors, F.E. Feeley, Jr.

It’s available for pre-order now at Dreamspinner Press and will be released on October 24th, just in time for Halloween!

My story is called Abducted, and it’s about a man who initially doesn’t believe that his old college roommate is being abducted by aliens… until he is abducted himself!

Abducted – Blurb

One night, Marc receives a frantic call from his friend, Cody. When he arrives at Cody’s isolated farmhouse, Cody is filthy, half-starved, and under the paranoid delusion that aliens are abducting him and implanting things in his body.

Marc agrees to stay one night, as long as his friend will go to the hospital in the morning. But Cody isn’t mentally ill. Aliens have been abducting him, and in the process of trying to stop it from happening again, Marc is abducted himself. But that’s just the beginning of his nightmare.

Marc learns of two alien races at war. To make matters worse, the Alzhen have Marc and the evil Karazhen have Cody. Marc’s only ally is Dalsing, the Alzhen security chief he feels an unexpected attraction to. They’ll have to learn to trust each other if they’re going to rescue Cody… and prevent the creation of a deadly biological weapon.

Abducted — Excerpt:

I walked out into Dalsing’s living quarters and then stopped dead, gaping in awe.

I wasn’t sure what I’d expected. Gleaming chrome and florescent lights, maybe. Or more of the malleable greenish mesh I’d been seeing in other parts of the ship. The last thing I’d expected was a forest. By that, I mean trees. A lot of trees. Though not Earth trees. In the relatively dark space, bioluminescent lines of blue-green and pink highlighted the rough edges of their bark and created swirls around knotholes and the bases of branches. Under my feet, a carpet of moss sparkled with shimmering silver, and glowing orange cones four or five inches high shot up in clusters like mushrooms.

“This is beautiful,” I said, whispering, afraid to disturb the stillness.

“It is my home world.”

I turned to find Dalsing standing behind me, naked again and holding out his robe to me.

“I am sorry,” he continued, “but I was unable to find a robe. You may wear mine, if this isn’t taboo in your culture, or you may look at my other clothing to see if anything else might suit you.”

I took the robe and smirked at him. “Are you sure you don’t get off on running around naked in front of me?”

“Get off?” He seemed genuinely puzzled.

I slipped the robe on and cinched the belt around my waist. “It means to get turned on—become sexually aroused. I’ve known guys who get turned on by being naked in front of other people.”

“Why is that?”

I thought about that for a second. “Well, I suppose it only works in a culture where being naked in front of other people is a rare thing. That doesn’t seem to apply here.”

“If I become sexually aroused,” Dalsing said, taking my hand and leading me deeper into the forest, “you will know. It will be obvious.” This was the first time we’d touched, skin to skin, and his hand was disconcertingly warm.

He was walking sideways, so he could look back at me as he spoke, and I couldn’t help but glance down at his crotch. “Why? Because your… genitals will pop out?”

“Eventually. But before that, my shiri will glow.” He stroked the darkly pigmented spots on his face with his free hand.

“Oh!” I exclaimed. “I remember! Some of the… Alzhen in the lounge were doing that.” I felt my face flush as it occurred to me those people must have been aroused. And they just walked around like that? In public?

But Dalsing laughed and shook his head. “That is just a paste some of us wear on social occasions to mimic arousal. Mostly younger Alzhen. My generation generally considers it… I am uncertain what the word is in your language….”

“Crass? Tacky?”

“Perhaps. You understand my meaning? It is something the young do.”

I couldn’t help but smile at that, imagining all the 150-year-old Alzhens shaking their heads in dismay at the way the younger generation dressed. They probably disapproved of their music too.

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Filed under Blog Tour, Contemporary, Cover, Excerpt, gay, Jamie Fessenden, New Release, Romance, SciFi, Sex

Sex Positivity Blog Hop – My experience with slut-shaming

spbhbanner-3I’m posting today as part of the Sex Positivity Blog Hop created by Grace Duncan.  The idea behind it is for romance authors to share positive views about sex, as opposed to the negative views presented so often in the media and in our culture.  I’m a story-teller, so I prefer to discuss things like this as they relate to me personally, as part of the story of my life, rather than in the abstract.  And I’ll use kittens to illustrate my points, because… well, they’re cute.

To see the other stops on the blog hop, go here.

black catI’ve always had a very casual attitude toward sex—it’s fun and I enjoy it, but I’ve never connected it to love.  Love is how I feel about a very select few people in my life, including my husband, of course.  But sex?  I’ve had a lot of it.  Some of it was with friends, and some was with people I didn’t know.  I’ve tried nearly every position I can think of, and quite a few kinks.  Some of it was special, some of it was incredibly hot, some of it was awful.  But only when it was with someone I cared about deeply did it have any emotional power.

I’m not saying this is the way everybody should feel about sex, but it’s the way I’m wired.  Love is love, and sex is for fun.

It surprised me to learn, as I grew older, that some people found me disgusting because of this.  One of the most hurtful things that happened to me when I was dating was when I was on a second date with a man I was very attracted to.  We ended up back at my apartment, making out passionately on my bed.  I assumed this meant we would be having sex soon, so I joked, “I’ll warn you—I’m easy!”

386200_2673280425520_1061443511_32785704_1832786642_n.jpgHe jerked away and said in a disgusted voice, “I’m not!”  Then he left, and I never saw him again.  All calls to his number went unanswered.

I ran into more men like this over the years—men who initially found me attractive, but quickly dumped me when they found out I’d had a lot of sex in the past.  I was now “damaged goods.”  And because they saw me as worthless—certainly not as someone they could have a relationship with—to offer to have sex with them seemed to insult them.  “How dare you think I would stoop to having sex with someone like you?”

Once, when I went to look at an apartment, the landlord accosted me, pulling me into a dark room and yanking down my pants.  I didn’t want it—I was dating someone, at the time, and I found this man to be repulsive—so I struggled to get free of him, and ended up fleeing with one hand pulling my pants up as I ran.  I told my boyfriend about it that night, and he responded by sneering at me and saying, “That figures.  What did you do to encourage him?”

So, needless to say, by the time I met Erich, I was used to people thinking I was a “slut.”  It wasn’t so much that I thought badly of myself for my sexual history, but I was convinced I’d given up whatever chance I might have had for a permanent relationship.

kitten cuddleThank God for Erich.  Our first “date” was more of a geeky study group for two.  We were both interested in Old Norse, the language spoken by the Vikings, so we met at my apartment to go over some lessons.  When we got tired of that, we ended up making out.  I came onto him, and he didn’t play hard to get or act offended.  He acted as if he was lucky to have found me.  And I quickly realized I was lucky to have found him.

We’ve been together for thirteen years now.  We’ll be celebrating our fourth wedding anniversary this week, in fact.  During this time, Erich has always enjoyed hearing about the sexual antics I used to get up to in my youth.  He hadn’t been quite so adventuresome himself.  But whenever I mention how men used to make me feel there was something “tainted” about me for being so experienced, he pulls me into his arms and laughs.  “Then they missed out,” he tells me.  “I love hearing your stories.  I think they’re hot.”

So I may not be the type of guy every man wants to marry.  But that doesn’t matter anymore, because Erich wanted to marry me.

I wrote about some of this, fictionalized, in my novel Screwups.  What happened to Danny isn’t true—not for me, at least, though sadly it does happen to some high school students.  Some have committed suicide over it.  But his feelings of being sleazy and not good enough to be Jake’s boyfriend—of having screwed up his life—I understood all too well.  And many of the events that occur in the dorm really did happen to me, though of course I’ve inserted my fictional characters into them.  Eaton House did in fact have nude pizza parties, people chasing each other through the dorm naked, and residents posing nude in the lounge for art students.

One thing I left out of the novel was the time I streaked the dorm covered head to toe in nothing but marshmallow fluff.

Ah… good times….

To buy a copy of Screwups, look for it at Dreamspinner Press or Amazon.

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Filed under Bloghop, College, Contemporary, Jamie Fessenden, Life, Nudity, Sex, Sex Positivity

“Touching Narcissus” available for free on MM Romance group!

Brewer TwinsFinding Narcissus

A young man who sees someone in a cafe who looks exactly like him, and proceeds to become obsessed with finding out who this man is… and sleeping with him. 

This is the story I was challenged to write for the Goodreads MM Romance group’s Loves Landscapes event, and it was just posted this morning!  You have to be a member of the group in order to read it (or download it, when the files become available in a week or so).   But it’s FREE!

Here’s the original prompt:

They say everyone has a doppelganger out there and I have found mine. He is beautiful, he is perfect, he is… me. The mirror image of myself in every way and I want him. I think he wants me. I pretended to be someone else online and planned a blind date/hook up for him, for us, telling him every detail of will happen. I told him when he got to the destination to take off his shirt and wait. Will he accept or reject me when he sees me, himself, reflected back when he opens his eyes?

And here’s the link to the story:

https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/1938767-touching-narcissus-by-jamie-fessenden-8-1

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Filed under Contemporary, gay, Humor, Jamie Fessenden, Loves Landscapes, New Release, Romance, Sex

Can we please kill this whole Top/Bottom thing?

Warning:  this blog post contains frank discussions of gay sex.  

Imagine this scene from a straight romance novel:

Harold gazed longingly into Marjorie’s eyes and whispered, “I’ve been waiting all night long to get you into a sixty-nine.”

Marjorie took a quick sip of her wine in an attempt to hide the blush creeping into her cheeks.  She gazed out over the city skyline and breathed in the warm night air, giving herself a moment to think.  Normally, Marjorie considered herself to be a missionary-style woman, but for Harold she could be flexible.  “Yes,” she gasped finally, “that sounds really hot.”

What’s wrong with this scene?  I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it:  they’re not even in the bedroom yet, and they’re already negotiating positions!  Who would do that in real life, except perhaps two people negotiating a BDSM scene?

Yet, if we change the two main characters to gay men….

Harold gazed longingly into Mark’s eyes and whispered, “I’ve been waiting all night long for you to top me.”

Mark took a quick sip of his wine in an attempt to hide the blush creeping into his cheeks.  He gazed out over the city skyline and breathed in the warm night air, giving himself a moment to think.  Normally, Mark considered himself a bottom, but for Harold he could be versatile.  “Yes,” he gasped finally, “that sounds really hot.”

Sure, it’s a little raunchy, but no more than other scenes I’ve read in the genre.  It now doesn’t seem all that unusual.  Why?  Because gay men often negotiate who’s the top and who’s the bottom before they have sex, or at least that’s what’s going through their heads.  Right?

Well, um… no.  Not really.

coin_wideOkay, I can’t claim to speak for all gay men.  Perhaps some gay men do this.  But honestly, I’ve been out since 1983 and over the thirty years since I came out, I’ve had lots of sex.  I’ve topped; I’ve bottomed; I’ve done other things I have no intention of talking about in a blog open to the general public.

Do you know what I haven’t done in all that time?  Declared myself a “top” or a “bottom” to anybody.

Ever.

Nor have I ever thought to myself, “I’m a top,” or “I’m a bottom.”  Is this because I’m “versatile?”  No, it’s because I’m just a guy, and when I have sex, we go into the bedroom (or wherever said sex is going to occur) and just go at it.  At some point, somebody might ask, “Would you like to fuck me?” or “Can I fuck you?”  Imagine!  Actually asking what your partner is in the mood for!

Yes, I’ve known men who would never let anyone fuck them.  Although these guys often refuse anal sex, period, because they find it repulsive or just don’t happen to like it.  (I’ve already discussed the fact that not all gay men are into anal sex in a previous blog post.)  What it has almost never been is because they are “bottoms” who never like to “top.”

Sure, they may have a preference.  Just like straight men and women have preferences.  According to Wikipedia, an examination of over 55,000 profiles of gay men on the popular hookup site gay.com “showed that 26.46% preferred top, while 31.92% preferred bottom, and the largest group (41.62%) preferred versatile.”  In other words… nothing.  We might as well call it split down the middle with 42% not caring either way.  And it’s about as useful as polling straight couples about their favorite position.

But my main point is, straight men and women don’t identify as the sexual position they prefer, so why should gay men?

And don’t even get me started about “pitcher” and “catcher.”  I don’t know the origin of the phrase, but I’ve rarely heard it issued by someone who wasn’t disturbed by the idea of gay sex in general.  I’ve certainly never heard gay men refer to each other that way.

Now, I suppose the gay “scene” is different in the cities and in various parts of the country.  I can only really talk about the way things are in my area, and age makes a difference as well.  But these aren’t terms I want to be associated with.

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Filed under gay, Life, Romance, Sex, Writing