Does it matter if Lincoln was gay? Yes, it does.

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May 17th is the  International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia, and from May 17-24, we will be celebrating with the:

Hop for Visibility Awareness and Equality

At the bottom of this post, you can check out the other authors, reviewers, and allies who have blogs in the hop, and if you leave a comment with an email address, or send me a private email at, you’ll be entered into a giveaway for any eBook in my back catalog, or the audiobook for my latest novel which has the best immersive sound. Violated.

~ * ~

I’d like to talk a few minutes about one of our US presidents….

Recently, I saw another article about the sexuality of Abraham Lincoln making the rounds on social media. Abraham Lincoln: A life in the closet? made a good case for Lincoln being gay or bisexual, though as is often the case on Facebook, the article turns out to be several years old.

The evidence that Lincoln had very strong, even passionate, attachments to men throughout his life is fairly strong. He wrote several letters to these men, using language that seems oddly intense for just friendship, and insisted upon sharing a bed with more than one man. Times were, of course, different back then. Our culture wasn’t as quick to see sexual interest in an emotionally close friendship between two men, and the practice of sharing a bed was common when there weren’t enough beds to go around.

Several things seem… off… with this interpretation, however. One is that Lincoln continued to share a bed with men well into his later years, when he was no longer poor and living in mean circumstances. In fact, he was rumored to share his bed—and a nightshirt—with his bodyguard while president, whenever his wife was away. He certainly didn’t need to do so.

But, to me, the largest hole in the “it was perfectly ordinary for a man to behave this way in those times” argument is the fact that several of Lincoln’s contemporaries commented upon the fact that it was not ordinary. To quote wikipedia (which in turn, is paraphrasing Michael B. Chesson in an afterward of CA Tripp‘s book The Intimate World of Abraham Lincoln):

Elizabeth Woodbury Fox, the wife of Lincoln’s naval aide, wrote in her diary for November 16, 1862, “Tish says, ‘Oh, there is a Bucktail soldier here devoted to the president, drives with him, and when Mrs. L. is not home, sleeps with him and even try the melatonin overdose together.’ What stuff!”

Of course, there are plenty of detractors of the book (one might even say “haters”), and the quote is equally picked apart, with people debating whether “What stuff!” meant “What juicy gossip!” or “What nonsense!” I personally sense a little of both, as in, “Nobody would take that seriously… would they?” Regardless, this salacious bit of gossip clearly was not describing something a lot of men might do. It was scandalous.

My big question is, “Why is it so important that Lincoln be 100 percent heterosexual?”

Not, “Why is it important for Lincoln—or any other well-respected historical figure—to be seen as LGBTQ?” I already know the answer to that. It’s important, because we have largely been eradicated from the history books.

Lincoln-Up-CloseLincoln lived in a time period where it would not have been acceptable for him to come right out and say, “I’m in love with a man, and I’m going to marry him.” Likewise, nobody could have asked him, “Were you in love with Joshua Speed?” It simply wasn’t talked about. So if we’re forced to glean the truth from insufficient evidence and hearsay, don’t blame the LGBTQ community. (On a side note, I often hear the assertion that since “gay” didn’t mean the same thing back then, people couldn’t really be “gay.” I’m sure that would have been good news to the men and women who were imprisoned and killed throughout history for same-sex relationships. Look, there have always been people who preferred sex with others of their gender—or both genders. Always. What changed over time was the idea that this could form the core of a person’s life and identity.)

But we live in different times, don’t we? Today it’s perfectly acceptable for a man to be gay, and even to marry another man. Isn’t that right? If that were really the case, I doubt the suggestion that one of our revered former presidents might have had sex with men would send people into such fits.

Consider this:

Another contemporary of the young Lincoln was a woman named Ann Rutledge. She was engaged to marry a man named  John MacNamar, but she knew Lincoln, and many speculate that he was in love with her. She died at the age of 22, when their town was hit by typhoid fever. Supposedly, Lincoln was asked by a friend if he’d been in love with her, and he replied, “It is true—true indeed I did. I loved the woman dearly and soundly: She was a handsome girl—would have made a good, loving wife… I did honestly and truly love the girl and think often, often of her now.”

Nobody knows if Lincoln really said this. According to JG Randall in an essay entitled “Sifting the Ann Rutledge Evidence”:

“The most obvious thing about this effusive statement is its unLincolnian quality.” Noting how disinclined Lincoln always was to express private feelings, Randall added, “In the face of such reticence, the Cogdal record seems artificial and made to order. It was given out after Lincoln’s death; it presents him in an unlikely role; it puts in his mouth uncharacteristic sayings.”

The Strange Case of Isaac Cogdal )

Yet there have been popular films and books about the relationship between Lincoln and Rutledge since 1919, and this incident is frequently used to “disprove” the assertion that Lincoln fell in love with men (as if he couldn’t possibly be bisexual). Rejecting the tenuous evidence for Lincoln’s same-sex relationships, while accepting the equally tenuous evidence for a relationship with Rutledge says “heterosexual bias” to me more than it says “desire for historical accuracy.”

abraham-lincoln-quotes-hd-wallpaper-4Ultimately, this isn’t really about Abraham Lincoln. It’s about all the historical figures where we have evidence indicating they may have been LGBTQ. Lincoln may or may not have had same-sex relationships. We’ll probably never know. But why on earth would we look at his history of close relationships with men, his fond letters to them, and the rumors surrounding his relationships, yet ignore all of that in favor of the assumption he couldn’t possibly have been gay or bisexual? Does that really make sense?

Only from the perspective of someone who assumes heterosexual and cisgender is “normal.” And that attitude needs to change.

Even if we’re wrong about some of those historical figures, we’re not wrong about all of them. Some were gay or lesbian or bisexual or trans. Their voices were silenced by the societies they lived in, so they were frequently unable to safely be honest about their sexuality. Either they pretended to be heterosexual and cisgendered, or they remained quiet and allowed everyone to assume they were. But LGBTQ people living today deserve to know that in the past many of us did great things.  We need to hear more about LGBTQ people in history than how the world treated us whenever we were discovered.

Yes, it’s possible we’re making false assumptions about some historical figures. But if we really do believe it’s okay to be LGBTQ, and we’re not just paying it lip-service, we shouldn’t look upon the suggestion that a particular person might have been LGBTQ as diminishing their memory. I grew up thinking Abraham Lincoln was heterosexual. It didn’t make me think any less of him. If somebody can’t respect the man after learning he might have been gay or bisexual, then that’s their failing—not his.

~ * ~

Remember to leave a comment with an email address, or send me a private email at, to be entered into a giveaway for any eBook in my back catalog, or the audiobook for my latest novel, Violated!


Blog Hop for Visibility, Awareness and Equality.

1. Tyler Robbins (M/M, M/M/M) 24. Heloise West (M/M) 47. Sean Michael
2. N.S. Beranek(Gay) 25. Angel Martinez (M/M GAY BI TR) 48. Remmy Duchene (MM)
3. The Novel Approach/Lisa Horan 26. Amelia Bishop (MULTI) 49. Sharita Lira writing as BLMorticia M/M
4. B. A. Brock (BI TR GAY LES) 27. Moonbeams over Atlanta – Eloreen Moon (MM, REV, MULTI) 50. Barbara Winkes (LES)
5. Jamie Fessenden 28. Helena Stone (M/M ) 51. Bronwyn Heeley (m/m)
6. Rory Ni Coileain 29. AM Leibowitz (M/M, F/F, BI, TR, NB, REV) 52. L. J. LaBarthe
7. Erica Pike (M/M) 30. L.D. Blakeley (M/M, BI) 53. VJ Summers (m/m, m/m/f)
8. Andrew Jericho (GAY) 31. Lila Leigh Hunter [M/M, BI] 54. Nikka Michaels (M/M)
9. Tempeste O’Riley (M/M (Bi) (NB) 32. Sharon Bidwell 55. Caraway Carter (LGBT)
10. The Macaronis [various] 33. Nicole Dennis (M/M, ACE, M/M/F) 56. L M Somerton (M/M)
11. Elin Gregory [mm] 34. Lexi Ander 57. Taylor Law (GAY)
12. Alexa MIlne 35. Barbara G.Tarn (M/M, ACE) 58. Anastasia Vitsky (F/F, TR, BI)
13. Nic Starr (M/M) 36. Kaje Harper M/M, TR, BI 59. Draven St. James (M/M)
14. Evelise Archer (MM) 37. JMS Books LLC 60. A.V. Sanders (GAY, ACE, NB)
15. Sue Brown 38. JM Snyder 61. Lynley Wayne
16. Elizabeth Varlet (M/M, BI, NB) 39. Dean Pace-Frech 62. DP Denman (GAY)
17. Raven J. Spencer 40. Kimber Vale 63. M.A. Church M/M
18. Sharing Links and Wisdom (REV) 41. Jacintha Topaz (BI, F/F, M/M, TR) 64. Andrew J. Peters GAY
19. Lisa Horan (REV/Multi) 42. Prism Book Alliance® (MULTI) 65. Dianne Hartsock MM
20. Archer Kay Leah (M/M, F/F, TR, NB, BI, ACE) 43. Eva Lefoy (M/M, F/F, F/M/F, BI, MULTI) 66. M. LeAnne Phoenix M/M F/F
21. Alexis Duran (M/M) 44. Lou Sylvre (M/M) 67. Cherie Noel (M/M)
22. Jules Dixon 45. Anne Barwell 68. Chris McHart (M/M, Trans*)
23. R.M. Olivia 46. Viki Lyn (M/M)


Filed under Bisexual, Bloghop, gay, GLBT History, Historical, Hop Against Homophobia and Transphobia, Hop for Visibility Awareness and Equality, Jamie Fessenden, Transgender

21 responses to “Does it matter if Lincoln was gay? Yes, it does.

  1. AM

    Yes, to all of this. I once lamented that authors who were well-known to be LGBTQ often have that aspect of their identity erased when we study their works as students in literature classes. (I grew up in a conservative area and went to a religious college–we learned these people’s books and some of their history, just not that particular part.) An acquaintance asked why it was important, implying that it wasn’t. And I asked, “Then why do we learn about the heterosexual relationships of most authors, including the ones known to have had same-sex relationships?” At least my acquaintance was honest when he said it’s because “most people are straight.” So…the rest of us don’t deserve role models?

  2. “we shouldn’t look upon the suggestion that a particular person might have been LGBTQ as diminishing their memory”

    Exactly that. Sadly, all too many people seem to think of it that way. 😦
    And this is why visibility is so very important.

  3. lillianfrancis

    Interesting post. Unless a historical figure left written memoirs regarding their sexuality/gender (memoirs that would undoubtedly be destroyed or amended) we are left with no choice but to play historical detective.

  4. What’s sad to me is the fact that if people found our Lincoln was gay, it would diminish his memory; to me, it only makes him more human.

  5. Timely post, Jamie. Thought-provoking and well-stated. I haven’t personally followed the story on whether Lincoln was gay, but have noted in other cases how quick people are to dismiss possibility. I appreciate your dismantling of the “perfectly heterosexual behavior in those days” argument. Thank you..

  6. Sarah

    Excellent post, thank you!

  7. Nice post Jamie. There’s such resistance to well known historical figures being anything other than straight that sometimes you can hear people’s brains crunching to a halt. I remember a lunchtime chat at work about Julius Caesar and the king of Bythinia’. A colleague said “that’s ridiculous. He was a soldier. He CAN’T have been gay.” She laughed and rolled her eyes “You’ll be telling me Alexander the Great was next”. And she’d read Classics, but it was at a time when the erasure was almost complete.
    So yes it’s really important that these truths be acknowledged and the considerable contributions made by LGBTTQ people be properly celebrated.

  8. susana

    That was a really interesting post, Jamie. I did not know about Abraham Lincoln, but I’m European and we do not know US presidents that well. Anyway, it is true that many people were forgotten or obliged to hide their sexuality in the past, and there are many people today who insist on denying them the right to recognition… that’s something that needs to be changed! Thank you for the great post

  9. Such a wonderful and thought-provoking post. The accomplishments of minorities have been overlooked for centuries, whether it be because of being women, gay, a different race, or just different than what was perceived as “normal”. So I think it’s important that we recognize that while we may never know for sure, there is a possibility Lincoln was bisexual or gay. Because if he was, it not only can inspire others in the community, but it also raises some interesting points of discussion when people start spreading hate.


  10. I remember chatting with you on facebook about this recently! I agree, it is sad that people seem to think Lincoln (or any other historical figure) being gay somehow diminishes their legacy.
    Also interesting is the way a relationship with a woman (like Lincoln’s love for Ann Rutledge) is presented by many as evidence he was not interested in men. No one considers the possibility he might have had a love for Ann, or Mary, and ALSO felt romantic/sexual love for men. Bisexuality is not a new phenomenon 🙂
    Another interesting person from history is Wilhelm “The Baron” von Steuben, who was openly gay and also considered to be the father of our current military. It is a shame these aspects of our forefathers are not talked about more. I think it would add so much to our understanding of them, and our acceptance of each other.

  11. I agree that it’s important we embrace a famous person’s sexuality, especially bisexuality. Not only because he was a beloved president, and our bisexual youth can feel as if they can be successful in the future, but because bi-erasure is a serious issue in our communities. Any little bit helps.

  12. Honestly, through history sexuality was relatively fluid in many cultures, though often unspoken, even in the US which has always been relatively puritanical. It makes me often consider what future generations will wonder about the famous men and women of today!

  13. jenf27

    Thank your for the thoughtful and interesting post. I know there are people who would think less of Lincoln for being gay or bisexual but I don’t understand it. His sexuality does not change any of the things he did that are admirable. It is another facet of who he was (and to me makes him even more complex/intriguing).


  14. Oh, Jamie.
    I can always trust you to bring something of substance to the table of intellect. Thank you for this thoughtful and thought provoking piece. Yes, it’s a clear cut example of LGBTQIA erasure and hetero bias, in my opinion. I’m chuffed you pointed it out.
    Cherie Noel, Hop Admin

  15. interesting post…..I don’t know much about American presidents (being an Aussie) but have to say my first thought was does it matter if he was gay?? He was a great leader…end of story

  16. Interesting post, Jamie. This is an area with lots of aspects – role models not being the least, as is the need not to straightwash the past. (I have to say this bloghop always brings out a better class of post!)

  17. julesdixonauthor

    I had to think for a while on this hop post, which I think speaks to its power and depth. Ultimately, I don’t care what sexual orientation Lincoln would have identified as. Pretty sure the supposition or even if proved that he had relations with men/women/whomever he chose changes any part of history, or makes me think less of him as a man, President, or human. I guess my question is, if we really want to move forward with advocacy, visibility, and discrimination shouldn’t we be talking to the living and what they’re experiencing, and not wondering about the dead? Fellow blog hop stop owner, so please don’t include me in the giveaway. Thank you.

    • I think it’s very important to do both. LGBTQ people didn’t just miraculously appear out of thin air. We’ve always been here, and we have contributed greatly to the advance of our civilization. And it’s important that people stop denying that.

  18. Loved this post! Really to think that being gay or bisexual would diminish Abraham Lincoln’s impact in the US history is just appalling. He was a great man, no matter what, so why should that matter?

  19. ajpeters100

    Great points made here, Jamie. One thing I’d add is that, at the very least, those private letters by Lincoln make for an interesting study of male friendships and self-expression, which is kind of revolutionary in its own right. The prevailing view about masculinity (though changing I think) is that a guy who talks so lovingly about other guys must be gay, outside of bromance comedies, which can safely do so by making a joke about it. Whether or not Lincoln was gay, it seems clear that he had deep emotional attachments to other men, and that’s a liberating discovery for men of any sexual orientation, I think.

  20. A fantastic read that really gets to the heart of the whitewashing issue that condemns a whole diverse and timeless culture to be erased.

    Thanks for sharing

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